Thursday, October 22, 2009

Conservative vs. Liberal

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as independently successful.
Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.
If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor and then sues.

If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A liberal will delete it because he's "offended."

3 comments:

Mom2mykids said...

I love it! Thanks for sharing it!!

Twisted Scrapper said...

Absolutely perfect and so true!

cotocorad said...

If a liberal doesn't like a movie, he doesn't watch it.
If a conservative thinks the movie isn't decent, he wants to prevent everyone from watching it.

If a liberal doesn't believe in abortion, they don't have one.
If a conservative doesn't, he wants nobody to have one.

If a liberal sees his government oppressing other nations, he protests.
A conservative, waves the flag pretending everything is okay while he buries his head in the sand.

If a liberal is homosexual, he lives his life the way everyone else does and expects equal treatment.
If a conservative is homosexual, oops, there are no conservative homosexuals.

In the past, black and Hispanic people were supported by the more liberal political party to gain equal rights.
The conservative party did all they could to justify the inequality but failed in the end.

If a person is down-and-out, he goes to a liberal person who thinks of him as an equal and offers help.
A conservative person ignores him and thinks there should be no reason another person should be down-and-out.

Liberals generally don't watch talk shows, they read books.
Conservatives are typically on talk shows like Jerry Springer.

A liberal believes in the concept of separation of church and state.
A conservative wants to force everyone to know about the ten commandments, prayer, religious holidays by way of the public education system.

Liberals believe that in a modern society, we can create a health care system that cares for everyone.
A conservative would rather work for low wages, lousy health care, and thinks that if people get sick its their own fault and they should pay.

If a liberal owns a store where someone slips and falls because of his negligence, he offers to pay for the person's medical bills.
A conservative store owner finds a way to make the injured person pay him.

Liberals won't read this, they ignore things that are forwarded to them by email.
Conservatives will be offended.