Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Groaners

Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.

A pessimist's blood type is always B-negative.

Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.

I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.

A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

A funny gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

Without geometry, life is pointless.

When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.

What's the definition of a will? (Come on, It's a dead giveaway!)

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I'll show you A Flat Minor.

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.

Every calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

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