Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Politically Correct

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, please note the following changes:

Kentuckians, Tennesseans, and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'hillbillies'. You must now refer to them as 'Appalachian Americans'.

Regarding women:

1. She is not a 'babe' or a 'chick' - She is a 'breasted american'.

2. She is not a 'dumb blonde' - She is a 'light-haired detour off the information super highway'.

3. She does not 'nag' you - She becomes 'verbally repetitive'.

And equal time for the men:

1. He does not have a 'beer gut'. He has developed a 'liquid grain storage facility'.

2. He is not a 'bad dancer'. He is 'overly caucasian'.

3. He does not 'get lost all the time'. He 'investigates alternative destinations'.

4. He is not 'balding'. He is in 'follicle regression'.

5. He does not act like a 'total ass'. He develops a case of 'rectal-cranial inversion'.

6. It's not his 'crack' you see hanging out of his pants. It's 'trouser cleavage'.

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