High Five

Pull Up Your Pants

Stupid People

Don't Do Something Stupid

Never do something permanently stupid just because you are temporarily upset.

Snow in Japan

Picture of the Tateyama Kurobe Alpine Route in Japan, where they receive up to 20 meters of snow a year.

Who You Can Be

You cannot become the person you need to be by remaining the person you are.

Diarrhea

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?

Gasometer

My car has 5 indicators on the dashboard: thermometer, tachometer, speedometer, odometer, and a gas gauge.

For consistency's sake, why don't we call it a gasometer?

What did you say?

How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

Schizophrenic

I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.

What?

How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

Bartender

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Ads You Won't See Again: Fat Banished

Short-term Memory

My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Ads You Won't See Again: Doctors Prefer Camels

Ads You Won't See Again: Start Cola Earlier

Ads You Won't See Again: Hard-Working Wives

Ads You Won't See Again: TV Benefits Your Children

Ads You Won't See Again:

Sign by a hiking trail in China

Beware of the missing foot

9-10-11

It is 9/10/11 and the time is 09:10:11

Kleptomania

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad I take something for it.

Ads You Won't See Again: Gay Cruise

Hallmark

Ads You Won't See Again: Cocaine Toothache Drops

Ads You Won't See Again: That's What Wives Are For

Ads You Won't See Again: Clothes for Chubbies

Exxon

Reading